Uses of a Broom Closet
by MsMacBeth10
Summary: In which Lily and James find themselves trapped in a broom closet. Opposed to popular belief, a broom closet isn't always used for snogging.
1. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good

"Omph!"

Thud. "Ouch!"

"Get off me, Potter!"

"You're the one who's on top of me, Evans!"

"A-Argh! It's not _my_ fault we're trapped in a broom closet!"

"Don't blame me, either! I had nothing to do with this! I solemnly swear that I am up to no good!"

"What was that, Potter?"

"No! I meant I swear that I had nothing to do with this!"

"That sounded fishy to me."

"Er, it was only a slip of the tongue."

"_Only _a slip of the tongue? Why do I get the feeling that you use the above phrase quite often?"

Muttered. "That's because I _do_ use the above phrase quite often..." Louder. "Ahem, I really swear that I was not involved in throwing you into the broom closet. Besides, why would _I _be thrown in after you if it was my idea?"

"Good point. It's got to be _them_, then, if it's not you."

"Y-You actually believe me?"

"Well, I'll safely assume that you don't fancy being trapped in here with me (and you haven't asked me out once this year), so I can conclude that it's not you."

"Er - "

"Unless you actually _like _this, Potter? YOU PERVERT!"

"I haven't even said anything yet!"

"Those bloody Marauders! Wait till I get out of here! Grr - Hold on a sec, where did my wand go?"

"You don't have your wand? How can a witch not have her _wand_?"

"Black nicked it, alright? Bloody hell! The door's locked, too! Gah, give me your wand, Potter!"

"I, er, don't happen to have mine either."

"You _what_?"

"It's not my fault Sirius suddenly demanded to see my wand, and the next thing I know, I'm stuck in here with you!"

"Great. We're both trapped."

"Thanks for stating the obvious, Evans...I bet those three are enjoying this right now. I wouldn't mind if McGonagall gives them detention for a week."

"We're Heads, you know, so _we _can give them detention for a week."

"I quite like the sound of that."

"Speaking of McGonagall...Oh, no, we're going to miss Transfiguration if we don't get out of here! She'll be furious!"

"Only _you _would think of classes at a time like this, Evans."

"W-We're Heads! Missing class is a bad example on the younger students! And just because you're good at Transfiguration doesn't mean you can skip classes whenever you like!"

"Ouch! That doesn't mean you can hit me, Evans!"

"This is all your fault, Potter!"

"My fault? I thought we just came to an agreement that _this had nothing to do with_ _me_!"

"You're the one who has connections with those bloody Marauders!"

"No comment there."

"What am I going to do, Potter? I can't waste my life away in this bloody broom closet! What will Alice think? What will my parents think?"

"I don't care what your parents think, Evans. Can't you get us out with Muggle tricks?"

Sniff. "That wasn't a very nice thing to say to somebody! Besides, we would need a hairpin first. And I don't even know how Muggles pick locks with hairpins. Is there even a lock on this thing?"

"You _don't _know how? That's a disgrace to the name of the Marauders!"

"I'm not even a Marauder to begin with! Don't group me with _them_! Those bloody prats! Well, besides Remus, that is."

"I'm sure Remus would be honored to hear that you do not consider him a prat."

"He doesn't participate in your bloody pranks, which automatically makes him less of a prat compared to the rest of you. And it's all your bloody friends' fault that we're stuck in here!"

"Well, there's nothing we can do until they decide to let us out. Assuming that this _is _their doing, that is."

"Of course it's their doing! It's got to be their doing! If it's not, Merlin help me, I'll - I'll - "

"Hex every suspicious student into the next century?"

"Yes!"

"Just...don't hex _me _into the next century."

"Thanks for giving me the idea, Potter. Oh, if only I had my wand!"

"If only I had _my _wand!"

"Stop copying every word I say, Potter!"

"I'm bored, Evans. How long do you reckon they'll shut us in here before they let us out?"

"I hope it's not for ever! If it is, I wouldn't only miss Transfiguration, I'll miss _every_ class until N.E.W.T.s! OH NO! I'm loosing precious time that I could be using to study for N.E.W.T.s!"

"It's _December,_ Evans! There's still loads of time!"

"No there isn't!"

"Listen, if I help you study once we get out of here, will you please stop stressing about N.E.W.T.s?"

"I - what? Did you just say _please_?"

"Yes, I did, Evans. _Please _will you stop talking about N.E.W.T.s?"

"Oh, fine. Do you really promise?"

"I promise! I'll help you in whichever subject you desire! Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, you name it."

"That actually sounds tempting. You do have good grades, after all. Okay, I guess I'll be quiet now."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"This silence is actually kind of creepy, Evans."

"Shut up, Potter."

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, unfortunately. **

**A/n: I was inspired to do a dialogue-centric story based on another fanfic I read. Anyway, hope you like it so far! A knut for your thoughts? X) **

**this will be multi-chaptered! **


	2. This or That

"How long have we been in here, Evans?"

"How am I supposed to know, Potter? I'm not a clock!"

"Good point. It feels like we've been in here forever."

"It certainly does."

"I'm bored, Evans."

"Stop poking me!"

"Do you know any Muggle games to pass the time?"

"There's always Truth or Dare...but we can't really dare each other in here, can we?"

"Ooh! I've got a good one! I dare you to hug me and cry out 'I'm scared, James!' like a damsel in distress!"

"IN YOUR DREAMS, POTTER!"

WHACK.

"Ouch! That was my - "

"I don't need to know!"

"That was my arm. Were you expecting someplace else, Evans?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Do you know any _other _games besides Truth or Dare?"

"Thank you for being mature, Potter."

"You're...welcome? I can't really tell whether that was sarcasm or not."

"I'll leave it to your imagination, then, Potter. Anyway, I suppose we could play This or That. It's a game where you choose one thing or the other, and then you ask the person a different This or That question."

"Is there a point to it?"

"No, except to kill time, which is what we're trying to accomplish right now."

"OH MERLIN! You murdered time!"

"That was an expression, Potter! It wasn't literal!"

"Oh...okay, I guess we can play for a little while."

"I'll go first, then. Remus or Black?"

"Do I _really _have to choose?"

"Yes, that's kind of the point."

"Agh, in that case...Oh, please don't kill me, Remus, for choosing Sirius!"

"He's not even listening, you know. Quit being so dramatic."

"He could be! You never know! Well, Evans, since you tortured me so much on just the first question, I'll ask...Sniv - I mean, Snape or me?"

"Do you really have to ask that, Potter?"

"Yes! You're just avoiding the question!"

"Am I?"

"Stop answering with another question!"

"Oh, fine...if you had asked that two years ago, I'd choose Severus without doubt. But now...I suppose I'll _have _to choose you."

"YES!"

"This isn't something to gloat about, Potter. My turn: Quidditch or - "

"QUIDDITCH!"

"You haven't even heard the second part, Potter. Quidditch or pranks?"

"GAH! What's with these impossibly hard options?"

"JUST CHOOSE ONE!"

"Y-Yes Ma'am! I'll still go with Quidditch!"

"Good boy, James."

"Y-You just called me James!"

"Did I?"

"Yes you did!"

"That was an accident!"

"No it was not! You called me James, Lily, just admit it!"

"You just called me Lily."

"I did. And my question to you is: James or Potter?"

"That's a really stupid question. I mean, you're both the same person."

"There's a difference, Lily."

"Grr. I suppose...J-J-J_ames_?"

"Excellent!"

"That is not excellent! Fine...I'll ask you this: Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff?"

"These questions really are pointless, Lily."

"JUST ANSWER THE BLOODY QUESTION!"

"R-Ravenclaw!"

"Thank you."

"Y-You're welcome? Well, my question is: Muggles or Wizards?"

"What do you think?"

"Hmm. That's a good question. What _do _I think?"

"I'm asking you, you idiot...For me, it would be wizards, obviously. Transfiguration or Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

"That's a really tough one, Lily. Can't you ask another?"

"Fine, but you'll have to answer it eventually. Autumn or winter?"

"Autumn."

"Why autumn?"

"That way there won't be any tracks in the snow..."

"Huh?"

"Never mind. Slughorn or McGonagall?"

"McGonagall. I'm tired of Slughorn's Slug Club. It's pointless! Grr."

"What's that? The amazing Lily Evans actually doesn't like Slughorn's parties?"

"Oh, shut up."

"As I recall, just the other day you defended Slughorn when those nasty Slytherins made fun of his club. Didn't you say...say...'Slughorn's parties aren't rubbish! They're actually very fun! You get to learn lots from the other students who attend, too!'"

"Did I say that?"

"Sure you did. I heard every word. Sirius was there, too, if you want to ask him."

"I'm impressed, Pot-J-James. But my voice does not sound that high-pitched."

"It doesn't?"

"Don't play dumb, Potter!"

"We're back to last names, huh? I mean, we _are _Heads, and remember what McGonagall said to us on the first day? 'I hope you will forget your differences and work together in these dark times.' She's right, Lily. Voldemort can attack any time..."

"I suppose so...James. We're better this year though, right? I mean, you haven't even - even..."

"Even what?"

"Even..." Whispered. "Asked me out once this term."

"Eh, Lily? So you actually want me to ask you out?"

"NO!"

"Don't scream in my ear, Lily!"

"S-Sorry, J-J-James...Hold on, if we're screaming this loudly, shouldn't someone from the outside hear us and let us out?"

"_You're _the one screaming, Lily...but that means those three put a Silencing charm on this place! And I thought they were my friends!"

"I hate to break it to you, but I don't think they're your friends. Otherwise they wouldn't throw you into a broom closet with _me_."

"That is so true! Wait a minute! Do you think I hate spending time in here with you? Is that it?"

"I...James..."

"You know, I wouldn't mind getting thrown into broom closets if it means getting to spend time with you."

"...I...oh...Whose turn was it again?"

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, unfortunately. **

**A/n: I was inspired to do a dialogue-centric story based on another fanfic I read. Anyway, hope you like it so far! A knut for your thoughts? X) **

**Suggestions (for word games they can play) are welcome! ;) **


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